Whose Life Are You Living?
People tell others how to live their life can be for the good, but what is the reason. And when we follow their version of our lives, do we risk losing our own?
Whose Life Are You Living?
From the moment we are born, voices begin to shape us. Parents, family, friends, and partners often carry a vision of who they think we should be. Some speak it aloud; others weave it in silently through expectations and rules.
Many of these people have no real skill or experience in the path they prescribe, yet they believe they know best. We trust them and follow, whether mindlessly or with awareness, and we make a choice, which leads to the result. When we follow their version of our lives, are we risking losing our own?
I once knew a man, who we’ll call Bob—a wise and kind man, who lived under this kind of shadow. Bob was a gifted interior designer, well-known for his creative brilliance and adored for his vibrant personality. Yet, when his father, an extremely dominating man, was on the way over to his house, Bob would rush through his home, moving or hiding items his father disapproved of, changing his clothes, and bracing himself for inspection.
It wasn’t only about what his house looked like or what he wore. His father never approved of his relationships, either, because they didn’t fit the image he demanded. The image he wanted Bob to portray in the father’s life. The role he played in the family.
His father loved him, but love always came second to the family’s code of appearances and rules.
From the outside, it was obvious Bob was struggling. In private, sometimes he would break down in tears. His creativity thrived, but his emotional and mental health wore thin from constantly trying to fit into a mold that was never his. He was living someone else’s version of the life they wanted Bob to live.
And this isn’t just Bob’s story.
Many families today still use ultimatums to hold power over their children: “If you stay connected to your other parent, or to someone we disapprove of, you’ll be out of the family. No weddings, no holidays, no inheritance, no communication.” Those words alone will trigger someone to feel old abandonment issues, not being good enough, wise enough, and so many other mind and heart issues.
Talk about instilling fear in some!
It’s a cruel bargain, forcing people to choose between love and loyalty, between belonging and authenticity. Generally, it’s a hefty price to pay for not following our dreams.
The cost is often a broken spirit hidden beneath a polished family photo. At some point, we all witness or live through these crossroads. Sometimes it’s clear. Sometimes it’s subtle. However, the question will always linger beneath the surface for those who feel what lies hidden, bringing in the fundamental question: Whose life are you living?
Question: Have you, or someone you know, ever been asked to live by someone else’s dream instead of your own?
Live Virtual Month’s Group Session:
Title: Location Is Everything - Where, Why, and How-To's to Create Harmony Between Location and Your Connections.
Discussion: Topic, Q/A, Empowered Members (Founding) can ask a personal question. Rise and realign with confidence in where you live.
When: Saturday, July 13th — 8am EST | 2pm Spain
Become an Empowered Founding Member and join in each month, SAVE 20% in September using this link.
OR
One-time access for the discussion $25 per one-time entry